Peyton's First Birthday

On September 4th, a few of Peyton's family and friends gathered at the cemetery to celebrate Peyton's first birthday with a baloon send-off, where we sent our messages to Peyton up into the sky. You may be surprised that I used the word "celebrate". However, that is exactly what we did. This past year has brought with it sadness beyond words. But for that one month that Peyton was with us, she blessed all of our lives in countless ways. She was born on that special day- September 4th- and for four weeks transformed all of our lives with her beauty and her strength. Nothing, not even the heartbreak, can ever change that. Happy birthday, precious Peyton Elizabeth!

Please find below a slideshow (also on Kristin's "Once A Mother" blog, as well as some additional photos and videos from this special day.

Kristin has started a new blog in Peyton's memory. Please visit it at www.onceamother.blogspot.com.

As most of you probably know, Peyton's uncle Mike is shaving his head in 3 days. He is doing so in honor of Peyton, and as part of a St. Baldrick's fundraiser to raise money for childrens cancer research. It is our sincerest hope that, through organizations like St. Baldrick's, there will come a time when no other families have to go through the pain that Peyton's family has had to endure. Please visit Mike's Saint Baldrick's page at www.stbaldricks.org/participants/shavee_info.php?ParticipantKey=2009-327386#

To our wonderful family, friends and the countless supportive strangers who have stumbled upon Peytons journey and this blog,

It goes without saying that this has been the toughest time of our life. Experiencing Peyton's journey, from her entrance into this world to her ascension to the next, has been filled with many emotions. There has been anger, despair, grief but through our darkest moments we have felt overwhelmed by the unbelievable outpouring of comfort, support and love that so many of you have shown to us. Peyton was an incredible little girl and as her mother I often wonder if she is working from above sending you all to surround us with love and support. No one should ever have to go through the loss of a child, it is a crushing inexplicable grief, but through this journey you have all sent us the message that we are not alone. Your support through this trevail has meant more than any words can ever express. Through our tears and grief we have felt your love and your kindness has not gone unnoticed. We just really wanted to take a moment to let you all know the profound impact that your love has had on our entire family.

Regards,
Kristin and Dru

Here is an email written from Kristin to the priest. He ended up using this email word-for-word, as a tribute to Peyton during the funeral:

Father,

Here is the second reading that we have chosen. I believe you had all the other information as far as the first reading, songs, psalm etc. Please let me know if you need anything else before tomorrows service. You had asked if there was anything specific to mention tomorrow and I had some trouble putting it into words but I would really like Peyton's spirit to come across. She went through these fights without complaints, as babys go she was extremely unfussy and always greeted each day with bright eyes and interest in all those around her. She allowed us to love her and hold her, to snuggle with her and cuddle her despite all of her tubes, infections, medications, and discomfort. I have never received such unguarded love in my life as I did from this sweet little baby and I have never experienced such fullness as when I held her skin to skin and watched her turn her head to hear my heartbeat and fall asleep. I know that many people think of her only as a fragile sick little thing but she was so much more than that. She had an incredible strength, wisdom and spirit that came through when she looked into our eyes. With all of the poking and prodding, the surgeries, the pain, the medication she really never complained. As her parents we would watch her go through this fight and we would start to cry because we knew the odds were so stacked against her and she would look at us with an expression that said "whats the big deal" It was as if she was trying to comfort us and say "hey mom and dad why are you so sad, Im Ok, its not so bad, see Im chugging right along, Im still here" That was Peyton being Peyton. Her loss is so much harder because she is really the one that comforted us throughout her sickness. The doctors would give us one terrible report after the other and we would come back to the room, hold her and have hope and faith that she was going to be that 1 percent to make it through. We never ever thought we would lose her so soon. I would really like for all those who never got to meet her in person to know that about her.

Thank you.
Kristin Binder


A Reading from the Letter of St. Paul to the Philippians 2:1-4,14-18
If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing. But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.

Eulogy for Peyton Elizabeth Binder
Monday, October 6, 2008
Saint Patrick's Church, Collinsville

Today we are here to say our farewells to my niece, Peyton Elizabeth. A child of God, whose life here with us was a brief moment when compared to each of ours.


It is so hard at this moment to think of the right words. I could talk about how unjust this is, that this innocent baby should be born with such a terrible disease. I could talk about how unfair it is that Krissy and Dru, two parents with so much love in their hearts should have to endure such a crushing grief and immeasurable pain. I could speak of Peyton's grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins who all loved her so much and are completely heartbroken. But what I really want to do is tell you about a special little girl, who I had the honor to know, and who was very, very loved....Peyton Elizabeth.


We knew before Peyton's birth that she was going to be one special child, just by looking at her parents. But when my sister showed off the ultrasound pictures taken of Peyton in-utero, these pictures revealed such a laid back personality. I mean, Peyton looked in these pictures like she was on vacation, lounging around in a hammock with her legs crossed, sipping a margarita maybe. And when she was born, it soon became apparent that this was in fact Peyton's true personality. She was the most easy-going baby, who rarely fussed, even when things got tough. She enjoyed being held and taking in all that was around her with her bright, beautiful eyes.


Peyton had such a smart look about her. People, including myself, would say that her eyes and hair looked like Krissy's and her cheeks were all Dru. But the fact of the matter is that she was uniquely Peyton, inside and out. Even though she was only a little over 6 pounds, Peyton had the heart of a 200 pound prize fighter. It has even been said that she had a mean left hook and that Krissy and Dru would watch her practice her boxing stances, using her baby mittens as boxing gloves, getting ready for the next big fight. The truth of it is that Peyton, and her devoted, loving parents Krissy and Dru taught us all how to be brave and stay strong, no matter how good or bad the odds are.


Peyton, along with Krissy and Dru also taught us what it means to love and be loved. Peyton never knew a day without love. Krissy and Dru prayed over her, held her, stroked her head and cheek and gently kissed her forehead each day, virtually living at the hospital. Despite the odds, through their love for Peyton, they never abandoned hope. Kristin and Dru showered her with as much love and affection as two people could humanly give a child. As I said earlier, Peyton was an easy-going baby who liked to be held, but there was a certain look in her eyes that she gave only to her mommy and daddy. She basked in the love they gave to her, and returned that love to them in her eyes. Peyton was surrounded by love from her birth until her death. She was surrounded by love in the operating room when she entered this world. She was surrounded by love when she went to heaven in my sister's arms, with her daddy stroking her head.


And that love extended far beyond the confines of the hospital. Peyton touched the hearts of all who knew her and all who knew of her. In only four weeks, she left a legacy that will live on forever in the hearts of many. She showed us what is really important in life. She taught us to be brave when things get tough, she taught us what it means to love and be loved, and she taught us to forget about the petty things, because life is fragile. People: friends, family and strangers alike all came together to pray for Peyton, and to support Peyton, Krissy and Dru. Family and friends became closer and people who had become estranged from one another broke down the barriers to speak to each other again for the first time. Peyton is, and will always be an important part of our family, and her legacy will go on.


Now I will read you a poem which my sister gave to me this morning. It is a poem from Krissy and Dru to their beloved baby Peyton:


To our sweet infant daughter
who now dwells in our heart
we are aching just to hold you
now that we are apart.

To our sweet baby Peyton
with those eyes of dark blue
for your mommy and daddy
you were a dream come true.

We so loved to hold you
and staring into your eyes
the way you loved us back so strongly
was our life's greatest surprise.

Taken from us so quickly
this we cannot understand
we miss each toe on your footsie
and long to hold your little hand.

Peyton our angel we miss you
we pray you're peaceful at rest
Remember daddy's soft words and cuddle
and how mommy sang and held you at breast.

Even though just a baby
your fight for life would inspire
when we felt so helpless and hopeless
you forged ahead never tired.

This sense of loss unrelenting
long to see your eyes sparkle, that cute face
Remembering how you looked at us knowing
Then left this world in our embrace.

We love you so much sweet angel
you were a life made of our love
We'll always miss you darling Peyton
Please wait for us to meet you up above.

In lieu of flowers, memorial donations in Peyton's name may be made to the Leukemia/Lymphoma Society, 300 Research Parkway, Suite 310, Meriden, CT 06450. For online condolences, where you can light a virtual candle for Peyton, please visit www.vincentfuneralhome.com